When our partner fails to fulfill this impossible demand, we often feel anxious, frustrated, and unhappy. We are so preoccupied with managing the other's emotions, that it creates an unproductive cycle.  We try to meet our partner's need, we fail according to our partner's (and our own) expectation, which results in more compulsion to meet our partner's need.

Healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. When we are in a healthy relationship, both partners demonstrate a healthy sense of self-differentiation.